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🎙️ Shutdowns, Snap Cuts & Rock ’n’ Roll Revival

It’s a new era for the Crooked River Cast with a fresh intro theme from our very own in-house musician, Tom! 🎶

Robert kicks things off with his computer setup talk (Apple fans, you’ll relate) and a dose of “Boomer” energy as he geeks out over tech that mostly works when it wants to. Nothing’s perfect, right?

Wake Up, Ohio — Let’s Go!

🏛️ Shutdown Shockwaves

The government shutdown saga rolls on — and it’s hitting closer to home than ever. Ohio may see 9,000 state workers furloughed as federal funding dries up. It’s eye-opening just how much our state depends on D.C. dollars.

🔗: Ohio agency warns federal shutdown could mean furloughs for state workers

🐾 Feeding Pets Before Politics

Even in tough times, some Ohioans step up. A West Park business is making sure pets stay fed through the shutdown, while Swenson’s is offering free meals to kids who rely on SNAP benefits. Sadly, refugees in Northeast Ohio aren’t as lucky — federal SNAP cuts just ended their benefits altogether.

In Cleveland, hundreds of refugee families are suddenly losing food assistance after the federal “One Big Beautiful Bill Act” slashed access to SNAP benefits for recent arrivals.

Afghan father Akbar Shenwari, who resettled in Cleveland with his family of seven, says the cuts are forcing families to choose between rent, utilities, and food. The U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants (USCRI) warns that 13,000 refugees statewide—including 4,000 in Cuyahoga County—will be affected.

“It’s a very bad situation right now,” said Shenwari, who now works up to 18-hour days to keep his family afloat. Despite it all, he’s urging others to stay hopeful: “This country is a beautiful country… with quiet patience, you will achieve your goal.”

🗳️ Election Results: Levies, Lawsuits & Lousy Accounting

Robert kicked things off with the Cincinnati mayoral race, where Vice President JD Vance’s half-brother made headlines — but not the kind he wanted. His loss highlights how tough it still is for Republicans to gain traction in urban strongholds like Cincinnati, even with big-name connections, that were pretty much non-existent.

From there, Tom and Robert unpacked the local election ripple effects — with school levies failing in some districts, lawsuits piling up, and new legislation that could ban library levies from even making it onto ballots. Ohio’s education funding picture is… complicated, to say the least. Election season wrapped up — and some districts are feeling the sting.

From Mt. Healthy Schools and Lakeside High facing more cuts to a bill that might ban library levies from ballots, Ohio’s education funding story is getting messy. The November elections left some districts scrambling. Mt. Healthy City Schools faces deeper cuts after voters rejected its levy yet again, putting essential programs at risk. In Ashtabula County, Lakeside High’s future hangs in the balance as a failed levy collides with an ongoing lawsuit over district finances.

Meanwhile, lawmakers are eyeing a bill that could ban library levies from ballots altogether—raising questions about how communities will fund critical resources. With budgets tightening and legal battles brewing, Ohio’s education funding picture is anything but clear.

😂 Comic Relief: 🐝 Babylon Bee Funnies

Sometimes, you just need a little laughter — and Tom and Robert had plenty this episode. From the absurd to the downright ridiculous, here’s what had them cracking up:

💰 Levies, Libraries & Local Lifelines

While some levies tanked at the ballot box, Northeast Ohio voters showed heart where it counts — overwhelmingly approving county mental health and recovery levies that keep vital services funded. A rare bit of good news in local politics, and proof that when it comes to helping our neighbors, voters still show up.

But not every funding fight is over. A new proposal at the Statehouse would let Ohio taxing authorities block library levies from even appearing on ballots — essentially silencing communities before they get to weigh in. Critics say it’s a move that undercuts local control and transparency.

🗺️ New Redistricting Map: Déjà Vu?

Ohio’s new congressional map is here, and it’s giving us flashbacks. Democrats and Republicans struck another deal that might keep things just gerrymandered enough to make everyone equally mad. It’s hard not to notice the pattern—Ohio’s GOP keeps stumbling over internal divisions while Democrats present a united front.

🔗: These are Ohio’s new congressional districts
🔗: Why Democrats struck a deal with Republicans on an Ohio congressional map 🔗: Coughlin bows out of Ohio 13th Congressional District Sykes rematch

🤖 Is Robot Love Real Love?

Ohio lawmakers are getting ahead of the sci-fi curve — a new bill would ban AI from marrying humans or owning property. House Bill 469 would declare that artificial intelligence systems can’t be considered people — meaning they can’t marry, own property, or act as someone’s legal proxy.
Yes, seriously. Even Kim Kardashian’s ChatGPT study buddy gets a mention. Can we say this is a waste of our tax dollars?

🔗: Ohio bill would ban AI from marrying humans, owning property 🔗: ‘I’ll get mad and I’ll yell at it’: Kim Kardashian blames failing law exam on studying with ChatGPT

🚓 Safety Patrol Shuffle

Cleveland’s Downtown Safety Patrol is expanding — or is it? A new report dives into whether the specialized sheriff’s unit is actually improving safety or just changing its patrol zones. This decision just reinforces how disorganized and ineffective the department has become. Instead of prioritizing public safety with a clear strategy, they keep shifting resources without accountability. It’s hard to take them seriously when consistency and leadership are missing.

⚡ Power to the People

Community solar power might soon be lighting up Ohio farms and neighborhoods. The new community power pilot has supporters buzzing, especially rural farmers looking for renewable options. Better than a data center? What do you think?

🔗: Ohio solar supporters, farmers eager for proposed community power pilot

🚗 Failure to Identify Bill

A controversial new proposal would require drivers to identify themselves even if they haven’t committed a crime. Critics say it targets “sovereign citizen” antics — supporters say it’s about safety.

🔗: ‘Failure to identify’: New bill targets drivers who don’t provide name during traffic stops

🐀 Ahhhh Rats!

Ohio ranks high on the “most rat-infested cities” list. Between Cleveland’s trash woes and urban growth, exterminators are staying busy. “Ohio has two cities in the top 25, but thankfully not the top 10” 🎉 YAY!?

🔗: Do we need a rat czar? Cleveland among ‘rattiest’ cities in US in new study

🌤️ Good Things

Because every Crooked River Cast needs some light at the end of the tunnel…

💖 Lung Cancer Awareness Month

One Northeast Ohio survivor turned her hospital work into a mission of hope for others battling cancer.
🔗: Northeast Ohio cancer survivor turns daily hospital work into mission of hope

⚡ AC/DC Brings the Power to Ohio Stadium

Rock legends AC/DC are headed to Columbus next summer for their “Power Up” tour — and Ohio is ready to thunder!

🔗: AC/DC to bring ‘Power Up Tour’ to Ohio Stadium next summer

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🎧 Listen. Laugh. Wake up, Ohio.